Dont You Ever Let Me Go
by WalkingDisastar
Summary: Elena world feels as if its fallen along with the life of her dearest brother Jeremy. The tread hangs loose as Elena questions life itself. A story embarking on the ones who are truley there, decisions in life, and the love story thats been through it all denail,regret,helplessness, but its the moments like this that count with trust,friends, and most of all a certain Salvatore.


**I will fix mistakes later I promise! But for now I just im so emotional from the last episode and I thought hey might as well write an idea I've had so I did! Wouldn't it be funny if the next episode was like this huh?Huh?**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Vampire Diaries or Damon(sigh). . . Elena does (wink) **

**I think someone has a story entitled Never Let Me Go I hope you dont feel like im coping your title im sorry! I dont think I am but I can always change it.**

When I wrote this I listened to Where'd you go? By Fort Minor OMG I was in tears you mightbe to just saying maybe not the story but if you think of the plot and then listen to the song its sad...

Own it. Live it. Love it. Stop being ashamed of who you are.

-Damon Salvatore

_Break On Through_

I don't know what to think.

My whole world has fallen.

I was hanging by a thread I was but now I was falling, in denial. Gone not here. I am no more.

I thought the worst feeling in the world was losing yourself especially after everything that I have been through with or without the Salvatore brothers, it was me and Jeremy.

Me and Jeremy lost our parents.

Jeremy and I lost our Aunt because of me. Alaric was mentally lost within his own soul to kill, maybe not because of me but sadly from my blood did he officially become the hunter that Ester wanted him to become.

My parents most of all, out of everyone souls that were lost because of my actions. I went to that party. I walked out on Matt that night instead of letting him drive me home. I am the reason for which we drove off of Wickery Bridge into the water that drowned my family within a few minutes. First my mother. Then my father who clung to life just in time to mouth his last goodbye to me and tell our only chance of hope to save me instead of him.

And now here I was in the same situation. Jeremy wouldn't even have been on that island if it wasn't for me. If I had just been normal and not brought all of this unessacry supernatural life into his than maybe he would be here with me bonnie by his side and maybe just maybe I could have been with Damon and all this action would not have followed.

Yes maybe he would still have been a vampire but that would be my problem not his.

I would find a way to make it work the same way I wanted to find a way to make it work with Stefan before I became the damned soul I was now.

Here I sat on the stairs. Knees curled onto my chest. My breathing heavy and coming out in huffs. As I twirled his ring in my hand as if seeing it for the first time. Tracing the engravement on it with me ring finger.

Finally I just placed it on my finger next to my daylight ring. It was bigger than my hand but I took no notice.

I breathed in heavily again smelling cleaning supplies from hours before when Caroline had been supposelbly cleaning. At the time I had thought that maybe Jeremy would come back to me. A vampire, yes. But he would be back. To me.

Alive.

But no. Life was cruel. Dangling hope and dreams in front of me was its specialty and it made sure that I knew. I was haunted from every death that I have been the cause of. Mom, Dad,Jenna, Alaric, John, hell even Isobel. And now I was haunted by the very death I wish I could take back. Of them all I wish I could take back the place of my baby brother Jeremy.

I cried and heaved and cried. I was on the bottom step so when I fell to the floor with a thud all I could do was not care.

I fell and I twisted my face shaking my loose frizzy hair whispering over and over again "No,no,no"

My please would get louder and softer as my mind was attacked with the best memories that I had with Jeremy, which was all of them. Even him almost killing me! I would do anything to go back to that moment even if it meant my death. Id rather my lifer than his.

The picture I had looked at earlier of me and my brother sat on one of my mother's old pieces of furniture.

I gathered myself up. Taking the picture in my hands I noticed that I was shaking uncontrollably .There was a crake on my face but I didn't care. I took my finger letting the tears flow onto the frame. I wiped my face when I noticed the water dripping into the crakes, of fear of them crawling onto the picture and ruining it.

His face…..

My brother. Whether by blood or by love. He was my responsibility and I let him and everyone else down. I knew I wouldn't let myself slowly die by the deaths of my parents because I had Jenna and Jeremy. Then I had Jenna Jeremy and Alaric.

It narrowed down to Jeremy and Alaric because of me again. She left us than soon she was dead at the hands of Klaus. Soon for while we had Alaric getting attached and closer feeling safe again I let my heart onto Alaric as if he were my dad. But soon my blazed burned and he died with me. But only one of us came back alive.

And again. My list was shortened and was only left with me.

I didn't even know who else I had.

Yes I had Damon and Stefan. But besides the fact that they both probably thought I was insane right now.

I thought about how I broke Stefan's heart by being with Damon. I felt a tear fall for him. Stefan.

My heart sank as I thought about Damon.

The man I had chosen in the end. Damon. At the thought of the man that I used to hate I let my tears all fall for him now.

Drip.

Drip.

Drip.

Again and again he had said to me he knew knew that this love wasn't real. But I know and I know now that it is real. But nothing I have done has convinced him. Nothing. I love him and I can't change his mind. Until I am human or until a miracle happens he will always think that this 'sire bind' is the only thing holding me to him.

I knew better. When a girls heart beats the way it does now that I have finally after all the time I have literally been with him I now realized that my heart never beat like this with Stefan. It beat for Damon.

Stefan. I will always love Stefan, but not the way I love Damon.

Stefan was safe for me. But Damon was…

Damon. He was there. He didn't dwell in the past. He moved on. He laughed. He cried occasionally. He felt love for me. But most of all he was there…..

But he didn't even believe me of my own feelings. Me being upset about this was selfish because I know that in my heart he is only doing this for me. And I just… I couldn't!... I just wish everyone was back.

My mom back to help me and give me girl advice and be happy and remind me of who I am.

My dad so he can beat up Damon and tell him that what Im feeling is 100% real

Jenna and Alaric so she they can love each other and live and get married and have lots of little Saltzman running around as Jenna and Alaric bickering as he makes a smart comment back.

John so I could tell him that thought he didn't raise me directly he was a good father and I would never forget that about him.

Isobel so I could tell her that life is well and she didn't fail me.

I placed both hands on the frame and just let everything I had out. Greif. That I hold in everyday for the past months maybe even year. The time I was at the graveyard for Jenna and Johns unreal was different. My brother was there to support me and he was my shoulder to lean on.

Not even to mention the fact that Damon almost died the next day.

My tears fell and fell. My advanced hearing heard every drop.

I just shjook my head I ran my hands through my hair over and over again. Shaking my head rapidly. Looking up and down as if asking for a miracle. I bent my head down staring at the picture I had laid on the floor.

"You can't be dead! You can't be!" The last part of my words was not clear as I cried and my words couldn't come out.

"You're my brother!" I screamed throughout the house. I finally stood up. My hands were through my hair as I shook I spun around the whole house repeating my last thoughts out loud.

"You were the one person that I needed to stay! You can't just leave me! Jeremy please!" I pleaded into the air hoping to see a ghost. I didn't give up there for calling him.

"YOU CANT BE GONE!" I screamed again. "JEREMY!"

My knees sank and I slowly sank my hands to my sides as I dug my nails into my skin. I didn't even care at this point who heard or saw me. I know that im acting like a selfish baby but he can't be gone. Not after everything he's been through not like this not because of me.

"Jeremy please…" I was now in the living room and I leaned against my mothers couch. My eyes sore from crying and the pain. I looked at my hands and thought of myself as only a killer.

"Don't leave me… Don't go my brother…." I spoke out loud. Then I turned my head to the roof praying to anyone who could help me.

"Take me Take me! Please!" I just couldn't help myself from hearing my last chance of hope. I heard the masculine voice of Jeremy calling me. I looked up as I heard it again.

"_Elena . . . You're not alone. . ."_

"Jeremy?" I took my opportunity. Im not think. Im running I used my inhuman speed as I ran upstairs with my speed blurring past everything into the room I just heard my brother speak in.

I stopped at the door. I just gulped. Usually I never came into this room unless I was sad or needed space to think. Which now was the perfect time. But I just looked behind me as if id see his ghost or even him there with me. I know that I heard him. His voice came from this room. I am positive.

Nothing rang through my mind as I took a step forward and touched the cold metal of the door-knob. Carefully I turned my gaze from the floor to the room and almost died then and there.

Jenna, Alaric, John, Mom, Dad, even Isobel! Everyone was here in a group! But I didn't see Jeremy.

I blinked and blinked again waiting for them to disappear and this all be but a dream. But nothing everyone stood there smiling at me. Jenna and Alaric holding hands as he stood behind her smiling at me with joy. Isobel and John stood next to each other looking as if they were the best of friends they looked at each other and looked at me with a look of happiness.

I felt tears of joys build in my eyes as I stared into the eyes of my mother and father. Ghost of not they were here. They looked as all the others as they stood there happy,carfree, joyful, everything good was spread across their faces.

I stood there with my mouth opened slightly as I brought my hand up to my mouth and didn't move an inch.

I almost squealed with joy when I heard my father talk. Not John ,but Grayson who came forward from his wife. His brood smile still intact on his face as he spoke in his normal fatherly way he spoke to me reaching his hand out to me.

"Darling weve been waiting to see you" My father spoke as my mother came forward as well "You must be scared of everything that had happened but honey you mmust know that no matter what we are all" Looking at every ghost in the room with me "Here with you no matter what"

I finally found the courage to speak as I had curiosity and fear sitting in my throat, I gulped it down. My vision was slightly blurry with a few stray tears that had not yet fallen.

"But I am the reason that you all are de-de-"

I didn't finish as Jenna came forward her hair down and loose just as she had died in. Her voice was beautiful as always as she spoke speaking the obvious "Dead sweetie trust me we all know that were all dead but" She pointed out with a smirk she looked up at Alaric who smiled at me.

He laughed his deep chuckle "Elena we did not die because of you, you can never think this look at me! Im happy I no longer even think of myself as a lost cause! Isn't that what you wanted for me and look where I am now! With Jenna I am happy and you should be to you can't live in the past take it from someone who did and the last years of my life were miserable and even thought my life-span with you and Jeremy"

I cringed at the word Jeremy did they know?

"The days I spent with you and him were the best days of my life even drinking with that jack-ass you're in love with were good times but other than those spare moments it was my time to move on now its yours just not in the same concept"

I soaked in Alaric's words. I couldn't even speak before John spoke up hands in his front crossed on his chest he gave me his famous gilbert smirk "Elena I lived for centuries it was definitely mine as well as Isobel's time to leave the new world and settle into our own new after-lives"

"John i-"

My mother and father cut me off looking at me now I stepped forward and they came to me. My mother grabbed my hand and I was surprised she didn't fade through but she grabbed it as I gapped at her. She looked at me with her brown doe's "Honey we lived because of you! You and Jeremy were our reason for life and even if you took the blame for our deaths we would've never wanted to die any other way but at the hand of saving our family"

That broke me down. As I cried and smiled at her laughing through my tears. I must look like a pysco.

My mother let me hand go as my father grabbed my hand to replace hers. When he grabbed my hand I took notice that his hands were warm, as were my mothers. He gently squeezed my hand as if he could hurt me I laughed and smiled through my pain.

"Everyone here had a purpose and as you die you know that you've lived that purpose because no matter what even in death can you not still watch and cherish the moments that your reason for dying is living! Elena if you lose hope than we lose hope and you are our smile on our faces"

I let my last ounce hope into my words 'Jeremy. . . " I looked up at my father who was not looking at me but behind me. My face scrunched in a curious look as I turned to see oh my god. . .

Jeremy.

Jeremy!

Jeremy! He was here! I could see him I could say goodbye! I don't even know what my face must look like but I know that I was felling shock and hope and he stood before me.

He stood my his hands in his pockets in him black pants. He wore a plain white shirt and I took notice that he had no curse mark. No curse mark!

My face lit up and I know that all the tears and pain I had just felt wiped away for second as I saw him and heard his voice; I know that the pain will be back soon but I need these moments to enjoy his words.

'You called?" He smirked bringing his hands out of his pockets he came to me as I did him and embraced each other. My last ounce of hope and energy were literally in this hug and I squeezed him as hard as I could not caring if I hurt his ghost form.

"Jeremy Im so so sorry! It wasn't me it was-"

"Katherine. I would never think for a second that you would do that even for the cure" He whispered into my hair. This was the most affection we have given each other since just after our parents died. Ever since than we've never really been the same. But all that was made for as I hugged him and I spoke quickly as I knew he would have to leave soon. The thought made me want to stake myself.

Jeremy tore apart and grabbed my shoulders as he looked at me seriously and I just cried as I knew this could possibly be our real last words to each other.

Jeremy soothed me as if he were Damon but in the brotherly love way.

"I bet you hate me after everything I've ever done to you. Erasing your memory, sending you away…"I broke off when Jeremy looked at me with a quick shake of his brown hair.

"I will and could never hate you Elena"

"Elena, I lived my life the way I wanted. Drugs alcohol I had it all when mom and dad died but I had you and though you may have embarrassed me to last a millennia you were there and I quit with help from you, sending me to Denver was something I needed I mean of you killed something with a butcher knife in front of me don't think for a second I wouldn't take you and Damon and tell him to take you far far away but then where would the fun be" Jeremy raised his arms in a shrug adding a look of 'I told you so'

Then after his words soaked in I realized he said me and Damon. I didn't even ask about that part Jeremy was around enough to know and see just about everything me and Damon went and are still going through. From dancing at the Miss Mystic Falls Pageant to making out in the motel.

I looked to the floor as if searching for the right words. I had so much to say but my lips were sealed as I let him continue.

"Elena" Shaking my shoulders softly I looked up at him taking my eyes of the floor. "Though my life may not have been full Elena yours can be and you know Im not one to talk emotionally but I have to leave soon ok?"

He asked me as if I had a choice. This brought yet another lonesome tear to my red eyes.

"But I want you to know one thing" He held up one finger and I bit my lip holding back to urge to beg him to stay here and alive with me.

"Follow your heart ok?" Jeremy looked sad suddenly and I knew he was in pain as I was. His eyes like mine were empty when he had died. But now I saw life and hope and everything I always wanted for him. Though I still have no idea how I can see them. I may have been brought back to life but not the same way he was. I could never see ghost until this one time and even know I wondered if this was a dream or just my imagination.

He walked backwards leaving me with that last statement floating in my head. I still held his hand as he was walking back to my mother and father. Soon he was too far and his hand left mine. My fingers till trailing for his hand again. He walked past me from whwre he was far in front of me

I had to see them one more time. Everyone.

"Wait what are you talking abou-" I turned around and there they all were.

The best possible sight I could ever see. The sight that made me smile. Even through my pain and sorrow I had just let out. Its as if it didn't matter because in front of me stood the ones who were gone yet in front of me. I smiled as Jeremy stood with my dads arm around his shoulders and everyone in there rightful place.

Alaric holding Jenna with a caring effect.

John and Isobel next to each other and I could see in their eyes was forgiveness towards each other. I just felt the effect deep in my heart that they had finally forgiven each other.

But most of all the sight that crossed my heart was my first family ever. Before ever finding out the truth about anything, the very world at most stood ,the only people that at some point in time I had were here together in front of me. Ghost or not.

My father and mother. I thought the last memory I would have of him was rejected as him and my mother stood here smiling and their arms around Jeremy who gladly accepted the comfort. Id never in a sense seen him so happy. Not since he was little.

Then I took notice that everything was suddenly lighter. Their skin, clothes even their smiles were fading. Slowly I could see my family withering before me. I made a shocked look as I scrambled back to reality in hope for them to stay.

Though in my heart I knew it was time that's why on the inside I may have been scared of being alone again all I could do was smile my best smile.

The last thing I saw before they finally withered away was my dad mouthing 'I Love You' Just as he had the night I lost him.

Then I was alone. Again.

I don't know how long I stood there. I mean really I don't. I stood there smiling to myself but I slowly let the smile fade as I stood there biting my entire lip as I let my final fit of tears begin for the night. I could cry forever but I knew that at least for tonight that I would let these be my last tears. Of both happiness and sadness.

I finally made the first sound that may have been either loud or soft but to me id dint even hear it as I sighed heavily and turned and climbed on the bed as if I were four I crawled my way to the blue pillows that sat neatly at the end of my parents bed. I took the pillow that my mother used to sleep on I soaked my face into it as I walled.

I smiled into the pillow and thought with confusion and happiness as I repeated my father's last 'words' to me inside of my mind.

I heard Jeremy's voice in my head whisper again "Follow Your Heart"

Did he mean Damon? Did he mean Stefan?

All I knew was that if I followed my heart right now id be in bed next to Damon staring at him as he stared at me and we would sit silently and not say a word just stare into each other's eyes like two love sick lunatics.

As if everything was set right I turned onto the huge bed and I layed sprawled out I smiled to myself. Thinking about Damon and me. I know that even though I may have really finally lost everything I have Damon. And no matter what I will somehow find a way to be with him.

Whether as a human or a vampire. I will find a way.

Me and Jeremy may have not actually have said goodbye to each other we said it in our own little way and now everything was somewhat set.

I may wake up tomorrow and have to deal with Klaus trying to kill me. Rebekah tainting me about being a failure at everything. All the business concerning the cure will have to be handled. Stress will once again make its way back into my mind.

But, I know that no matter what I will wake up to Stefan caring, Carolina hurting for me because that's the way she is, Bonnie needing my help with dealing with Jeremy's death as I will still need hers, Damon….

Damon will be there to love me. To love me and care. To know when to ask questions and when to just stare at my eyes and be silent. To never give up.

And now I know that no matter how much Jeremy may have disliked Damon. That even in the afterlife he will back-up with the decision I have already made.

I chose Damon Salvatore long before I even realized it. And now I opened up my eyes.

My family had forgiven me and that's what I needed to let me live life.

I will always have regret in my heart but I will move on.

Even if I want to hold on I know that once again I will have to move on.

I fingered the ring on my finger of Jeremy's. It was beautiful and the thought that Jeremy wore it made me never want to take it off because it was part of him in a sense. It literally saved his life.

I finally let out a sigh of relief as the tears kept spilling out slowly. Even with my face at an angle the tears rolled down my face onto my neck maybe even soaking my shirt. But I didn't care.

Hearing the noise of my front door cause me to perk up. I scooted myself up so I was up against the pillows as I still fingered with Jeremy's ring I smiled at the ring not even looking up.

Whoever was here was obviously invited in previously so I wasn't concerned about unwanted visitors. I heard the door shut as whoever closed it. Walked throughout the house looking for me. I didn't even use my reflexes to try and tell who was in the house till my question was answered when I heard a velvet like voice I needed to hear speak up.

"Elena?" I didn't answer as i sniffled my stuffy noise that should answer his question.

He mustve took my hint as I heard him and his boots click as he came up the stairs. I looked up from toying with his ring as I waited for him to come one.

I must have cracked the door behind me because when I looked up I saw Damon half of his body through the room as he looked at me.

He looked as his usual self. His dark eyes that can make even the smartest of girls fall for him. Girls like me. His blue enchanting eyes went well with his dark hair that was in his usual style loose but yet styled at the same time. His attire was of a leather jacket and a plain black T-shirt. Though I couldn't see his pants I would assume that they were as well black.

He peeked in looking never been in my parents room before, that I know of at least.

I looked back down at my folded hands as he finally walked all the way in. Taking his stride towards the bed he stood next to me as I scooted over so he could join me. That's all I wanted right now was his shoulder to lean on.

The bed hardly sank as he sat next to me. His eyes never leaving my face. He took his cold hand into mine. That would soon become warm from the body warmth. I hardly squeezed his fingers as I smiled at our hands intertwined together. I could almost feel his small concerned look as he stared at my face.

"Im sorry I wasn't here any soon-"

"It's okay" I cut him off. All he did was look down at his lap. He still felt that this was wrong. But I couldn't help the next question from coming out of my mouth.

"Please just for right now can you just be here with me. Not worrying about the cure or anyone just us. . .Please just for tonight ok?"

I didn't even have to continue with my words as I just let my exhaustion take over me as I become comfortable leaning against Damon. I put my head on his shoulder. And looked at our feet. His boots and my shoes together.

I never thought we'd be here together. Not in love at least.

Damon smirked from above as I looked at him smiling through my tears. He had just said 'yes' in his own weird manly way.

"Im sorry. . ." Damon apologized. For what exactly I don't even know but I don't care. But I continued anyways sounding groggy from my lack of sleep as well as sad from everything that's happened within 24 hours.

"Damon I may have lost everyone but I have you" I stated looking at him as he searched my face " So I have one more question"

Damon made a serious face as I sniffled my nose again about ready to burst with tears.

"Don't…Don't let me go. Ever I can't I just-I can't lose anyone else I just my heart is battered enough just don't. . . " I spoke mumbling quietly as I turned back to my again comfortable position as my head leaned against his hard shoulder we both leaned against the pillows.

Damon responded calmly stroking my hair "I may be a Jackass" I laughed sadly at his usual humor "but I will _never _ever let you go I hate to say it but you're stuck with me" I silently laughed at his last words.

I felt his smirk again as I finally let the smile fade and I felt my lips quiver. I squeezed his hand even harder again.

"I may have let them go but I can't lose you to" I cried and shook my head. I brought my other hand up to wipe the tears away.

Damon turned and wrapped his free hand around my waist his other hand still intact with mine he turned us both to the right as we leaned against each other. Back to front as we laid there. I kept shaking my head between my smiles of happiness that I saw my family and between the hurt that crossed my face every ten seconds.

Damon laid his head on my shoulder watching me. I could see his hurt face.

"I will never let you go"

He took apart our hands wiping my tears. Before returning his hand back to my hand. I continued to cry to Damon. As he would occasionally wipe my tears from my sore face.

And we laid there together all night. Damon soothing me. Me crying like a baby letting to pain away so I could be functional again soon.

And with Damon by my side. Showing me the side of him I loved and always will love all I did was lay there and let the man I love see my weakest side.

Because after all I am in love with Damon Salvatore.


End file.
